Just How Far I Haven't Come

I sat down and read some of my journal entries over the last couple of years and decided to take a little time for some reflection. The idea of "contentment" is something that regularly comes up on the pages that I've written over time. The ironic thing is, I still haven't done some of the things that I wanted to have accomplished at this point in my life, but I'm really quite content. It was a long road getting here though.
Quick recap: A little over a year ago I made the decision to move to South Carolina. No, it wasn't because I had gone to school here. My family didn't pick up and move here. And it definitely wasn't because of work. I came by myself, sight unseen, with no job lined up. I think that there were probably a lot of people that thought I was crazy or stupid, but people that know me know that that's how I roll these days.
The first 6 months in SC where undoubtedly the hardest months of my life up this point. I began the job search immediately and came up empty handed time after time. I started to question my move but I'm not one to narrow God's will. I believe that I can be in a number of places and still be within the general will of God and He can use me wherever I am. So I continued on and kept hope that something was going to come up.
During that time I learned a lot about myself, my God and my relationship with Him. My faith was tested beyond what I thought that I could endure and I learned that faith really isn't faith until it's all your holding onto. And God's grace really is sufficient and He doesn't give us more than we can handle.
Don't get me wrong, I got frustrated with God... very frustrated at times. And I did my fair share of questioning Him. I was reminded time and time again that life's not fair and He never said that it would be. But through it all, I was able to see God's work. Maybe not at the time, but eventually.
I learned a lot, but as I read things I've written and remember lessons that my Father has taught me along the road of life, I can't help but wonder, did I really learn? I still struggle with some of things that I thought I'd overcome. I wonder how strong my faith really is at times and I still get frustrated with God. But He remains the same and when I'm done trying to do on my own, He's there to pick up the pieces and help me to change.
The last couple of years have been difficult for much of the time, but I've learned so much and I wouldn't trade the years or months for anything.

Some Recent Family Pics

Just A Thought

Sometimes I wonder if my plans are too big, my ambitions to great or my dreams too far beyond my reach. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't been able to achieve things that I thought I would have long since surpassed at this point in my life. Sometimes I wonder why things seem to fall into place for some and others have to work like crazy to get to where they are. Sometimes I feel like life is passing me by.... But then I remember that it's not. And although I might not be where I thought I would be, I am still young and free and still have time to do what I want to. I may have to work hard for where I am, but perhaps that is necessary in order for me to truly appreciate where I've come from. I may not have traveled to all the places on my list or done all the adventurous things or even earned the degrees that still don't have my name on them.... but that means that I still have something to look forward to in the days to come. I may have trouble sitting still for very long but perhaps it is because I love life and I want to live it to the fullest. I want to experience all that I can while I'm on this earth. God has given me me life and He's given us a beautiful world to explore and I plan on doing just that. So for this moment, I may have to stay in one place for a little while, but these boots where made for walking... :)

Quick Update

Things are going really well with the job. It's been a bit overwhelming at times but I am learning and enjoying.

I'm hoping to go home in August for Gram's birthday. We'll see if that is possible when the times comes.

I've been trying to keep up with emails and phone calls, but I'm sorry if I've missed some of you. Feel free to write or call anytime and keep me accountable. :)

Here's What I know.....

~I often don't understand life - but I know that God is all knowing.
~I can't always see what's happening at the time or how it's going to work out in the future - but ~I know that God has a plan and is working behind the scenes.
~I don't always know what lessons I need to learn - but God does and He wants me to learn.
~I usually have my way of thinking how life should go - and God has His (and they aren't always the same).
~God's best will always be better than the best I can conguire up on my own.


The last several months have been - well, difficult. There were definitely times when I just wanted God to fix things and make my life easy again. But I kept asking Him to show me what He had for me. And He chose to keep me in the difficult circumstances for longer than I would have chosen. And I can honestly say, I have learned many things. "Life is hard but God is good".

Those that know me well know that I have struggled with being content for, well, pretty much my whole life. And coming to the place were I can say that I am content, has been a gradual process. But I can honestly say, I like where I am, I'm happy and I'm not trying to see around the next bend in the road. And it is such a "freeing" feeling!

I've learned about the importance of totally surrendering to God and His plan for my life. When I ask Him for His best and then allow Him to give it to me in His time, it's so much better than when I try to work things out on my own.

I'm learning to ask for help and rely on others at times (really hard for an independantly minded person). God has placed some absolutely amazing and wonderful people in my life and I am so thankful for all that they've done for me.

I truly an liking living in South Carolina. No immediate plans of moving. Jury's still out on the school thing and as to when I'll be able to pursue the cosmetology thing. I just got a full-time job (HUGE answer to many months of prayers). Come visit when ya'll can ;)

Been a little longer than I planned.....

I have been meaning to write for a long time.... Although not too much has changed in my life in the last few months, I am learning a lot about God and myself. Since the start of the new year I have put in several job applications and still have yet to hear anything back. This has turned out to be frustrating to say the least. However, I have found that I have a tremendous peace about the whole situation. God has been teaching me so much in the process of waiting and I'm reminded that His timing is often not ours. He has provided for my needs and continued to be faithful. At this point though I'me ready for Him to just open doors and blow me away with something amazing.

Christmas was very different this year not being able to be home with my family, but I had a great time here with the family I had here. I am very blessed to have wonderful people in my life all around me.

We actually got some snow here last week. I was as excited as a kid. :)

Thanks to all for your prayers and emails.