Just My Perspective

I have been silent lately but it's not for lack of things to write about or say. In fact, it's quite the opposite. So much has been going on that I've had difficulty sorting things out, getting them out of my head and figuring out what to share and what not to share.

In some ways, I feel as though I have lived a lifetime in just the past few weeks. In other ways, it all seems to have gone too fast.

I have watched those around me experience a roller-coaster of emotions. I have felt some of that myself. I have questioned. I have sorted. I have planned. I have failed. I have conquered. I have seen the highs. I have seen the lows. I have, in some ways, come full circle and yet still have so very far to go.

I have hit walls. And I have found my self back at square one. I have laughed. I have cried. I have pushed through and I have and will continue to go on.

And I am quickly learning more and more about myself and my God.

My God is faithful. He is sustaining. He is understanding. He is compassionate. He is loving. He is just. He is wonderful. He is love and He is grace. He is strong. And He is strong enough for all of us.

Through the darkest of nights, He has been there and I have not felt His presence so strongly as I have in the last month in a long time. Maybe ever. But He walks through the valley of the shadow of death when we feel so alone and feel as though we are going to crumble under what life has thrown at us.

And sometimes we are so quick to either blame God or wonder why He has allowed life to happen to us in the way that it has. But might I suggest that God isn't to blame in any way for some of these things?! I'm daring to go there, because the more I learn about God and the world around me, the more I believe that some things just happen the way that they do and God had no part in them. Don't jump to conclusions here and think that I am suggesting that God is not in control. He most definitely is. But I think that there are plenty of things that happen that are not what He had hoped for or originally planned. And I believe that He is big enough to handle our questions and our anger. And I also believe that He hurts when we hurt.

I think that when our emotions are at their very rawest is when we can truly be honest with God. We are most vulnerable then and the more I go through that, the more I think that that's the kind of relationship He wants with us all the time. He wants us to put down the front and be who we really are. Even if that means we are angry and full of questions.

Life often doesn't make sense. There's no two ways about that. But through it all, I've found that the Rock that I stand on is always solid.