Donald Miller says that the best writing occurs in dark closets and plain rooms with no view. That might be true, but I am currently sitting outside listening to the autumn wind blow the leaves off the trees. I can smell fall in the air.
I used to love fall. Once upon a time it was my favorite season. But over the years I have come to be much more of summer person and fall brings with it a certain sadness. This probably has something to do with the fact that I am not a fan of winter at all and I know that fall means winter is just around the corner. But this year I am finding the change of season more difficult to accept than ever before.
2013 started with hope and change for me and I was confident that "great things" were just around the next corner. But instead, I've found myself in a bit of another "holding pattern" for the last 8 months and I'm circling the wall of frustration. I thought by now I would have moved on to the next phase of my life. I know roughly what I want that phase to look like and I have been working for several weeks to make it happen but I'm not really getting anywhere with it. Thus, my frustration and sadness that the next season is upon us and I am still "stuck". Well, that's how I feel anyway.
Please don't misunderstand me. I don't think that life is going to be easy. I'm not looking for some great and amazing thing to fall into my lap. I know that things take time and hard work. But sometimes my reality vs. my expectations leads to this overwhelming feeling of "what on earth am I doing?". I'm probably making things more difficult and dramatic than they need to be. If we're going to be honest, a lot of us do that from time to time. And it helps once in a while to give myself a reality check and remember how good I have it and that all good things take time. Sometimes far more time than I want them too.
So perhaps I should take a few moments to once again appreciate the change of season, drink a pumpkin spice latte and enjoy the colors of fall. Time moves on but life doesn't have to pass me by.
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