Sometimes I feel incredibly disconnected. Not in the "I haven't checked my email lately" kind of way. More like I just don't feel like I fit anywhere in the world around me. I don't know what brings this on and I don't have any idea how to force it away. I usually spend a solid day or two just going through motions and trying to seem normal to those around me when inside I'm feeling so out of place.
I am the type pf person who needs copious amounts of time to myself. But I also need to choose to be alone, otherwise the feeling of loneliness creeps in. On the flip side, when I have been around people nonstop I start feeling drained and find myself pulling away. Don't get me wrong, I love community. I think it's extremely important and necessary for the human soul, but for some of us, there is that need to just be. By our self. No one else around.
Perhaps there is a link. Perhaps when I have been around people for a while in one setting or another this is when the feeling of disconnect begins to set in. It makes sense really. Internally I want desperately to be alone for a while but externally I can't be, so I mentally remove myself from the situation. And until I can truly be alone for a while and have time to recharge my batteries, I can't make connections with those around me.
There is a great difference between loneliness and solitude. I hate loneliness but I thrive on occasional solitude.
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