Adjusting The Lense

I know that my last couple of posts may have seemed a bit down and truthfully, they were. Life has been a bit... discouraging lately and I've been a little overwhelmed. I've also been quite tired and trying to make life altering decisions when tired is never a good idea. It just makes things all the more overwhelming. But the last few days I've had a better perspective on things and am feel slightly more confident and at ease. That in no way means that I have things figured out, but I may be on the road to discovery.

Discovery of what I want to do.

Discovery of where I need to be.

Discovery of me (whether good or not so much).

Commitment. Let's talk about that for a minute. For me it's more a "lack there of" as I am a self proclaimed commitmephobic. And this morning, as I was getting ready to face the day and have a conversation that was partially with myself and partially with God, I had a thought. A break though really. And I have had to reconsider some of my previous thoughts on life. Because, as I stood in front of the mirror thinking over some of the advice that I have given to those around me at certain times in life, it hit me that I need to heed my own advice. 

I've always had a fear of settling. Settling for less than what could be best. Settling because it's convenient. Settling because it's comfortable. Settling for the sake of settling. So, to protest this idea if you will, I have run as much as I could in the other direction. The problem is, I then start to live in a fantasy. Because if I have something good or even great in front of me, looking for something better is only a cause for unhappiness. And, if I'm asking God to give me His best but still looking when something wonderful comes along, then what am I in essence saying to Him? And I've realized that, although I thought I had effectually dealt with the discontentment a couple of years ago, they go hand in hand. I'm also not an unhappy person by nature, but I can make myself that if I choose to resist my reality. 

So the conclusion that I have come to is that it is time to stop looking for something better. It's time to stop trying to live in the future. I need to embrace the here and now. And I need to trust that God is going to give me the best, His best, in every area as long as I am seeking it. I need to be present. If I leave God out, then I am settling, but as long as He is in and I am allowing Him to be active in my life, then I just need to trust.